Many people find themselves getting frustrated or angry after their stroke. This may result from changes in the brain and your thinking skills. It may also happen as you are trying to adjust to the impact of your stroke.

Frustration

It can be hard to accept changes in your life. You may feel frustrated about:

• Not being able to do everything you used to do.
• Having to rely more on other people.
• Things taking longer than they used to.
• Not being able to work, do hobbies or go out like before.
• Not being able to express how you’re feeling or find the right word.
• Making mistakes.
• Forgetting things.
• Feeling tired and having no energy.

Feeling frustrated is natural. You’re likely to feel this way from time to time. Everyone deals with frustration in their own way. It might make you more irritable or angry.

Anger

Some people feel they get angry for no reason. Others get angry about things that did not bother them before.

They might find it hard to control their temper. This can affect someone’s wellbeing and recovery. It can also be difficult for people around them.

If you or people close to you feel anger is affecting your life, it’s a good idea to talk about it or seek help.

Aggression

If your anger turns into aggression, you may shout, throw things, threaten people or try to hurt them.

Aggressive behaviour puts you and other people at risk. So it’s essential you understand why it happens and learn how to manage it. If you need support, contact your GP or stroke team who may refer you for expert help.

I never shouted before, but I changed; I lost my temper more and didn't even realise it. I couldn't understand why I was reacting like this. Mental support has been crucial. I use techniques to help me and stop me in my tracks.

Jim, stroke survivor

What can I do about feeling frustrated or angry?

Find positive ways to release tension

If you’re becoming frustrated or angry, you need to find positive ways to release the tension you’re feeling. That way, you can focus your energy on more positive things, like your recovery. Doing something physical, like going for a walk or another kind of exercise, can help you let off steam. Relaxation techniques can also help you to release tension and calm down.

What can I do if I’m becoming aggressive?

Learn your triggers

Talk to your friends and family to work out what makes you angry and how you can avoid or manage it. You could keep a diary about situations where you felt angry and how you reacted, to help you spot any patterns or triggers.

If you have fatigue and your behaviour changes when you’re tired, try telling loved ones so they can understand how you feel. Try to get more rest or do things at times when you have more energy. Or if your behaviour changes when you’re bored, try to plan some activities to keep you busy. Physical activities and exercise may also help reduce stress and tension.

Develop a strategy

Agree a word, phrase or sign your family and friends can use to let you know you’re becoming angry or aggressive. This can prompt you to take a step back and calm down. Or agree they’ll walk away and leave you on your own for a few minutes. Some people find learning breathing techniques can help them calm down if they feel stressed or angry.