The then 44-year-old, from Ballygowan, Northern Ireland, had just finished her spin class. She was thinking about her sons' nativity and the presents she still had to wrap.

‘Then, suddenly, my right arm was floppy, my tongue felt swollen and the right side of my face felt numb but tingly,' said Nicola. 'I was instantly worried, as I knew the symptoms weren’t good. I struggled to speak and explain things and I wasn’t able to use my right arm.’ 

Instead of being filled with all the joy of the festive season, Nicola felt anxious, fearful and afraid. For her and her family, ‘stroke had stolen Christmas’. 

'It was really hard to be a mummy'

Nicola is mum to two boys. Noah was five at the time of her stroke, and Dylan was eight. She found the role of being a mother difficult after her stroke because of the symptoms she had. That first Christmas she had to sit back and watch because she was too exhausted to join in.

‘It was really hard to be a mummy,' she said. 'I was too tired to cope with the noise and activity levels of the boys. It was so hard when my youngest, Noah, asked me: ‘Mummy, why don’t you want to play with me?’ That broke my heart. Dylan, being slightly older, understood that I couldn’t do things as I wasn’t well.  

Fatigue was Nicola's main problem post-stroke, and she found the smallest tasks really difficult. 

Post-stroke support

During 2023, Nicola had counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy and stroke-specific counselling from the Stroke Association. 

‘One of the hardest post-stroke events was when I left my job at the end of summer 2023,' said Nicola. 'The stress from this led to a very dark period for me where I really struggled to cope. My husband was an amazing support during this period, along with one or two close friends who I talked with about my feelings.

I was very grateful to be receiving stroke counselling support from the Stroke Association at this time. I was able to talk about my emotions and try and process everything in a healthy way.

Nicola, stroke survivor

A fresh start

Nicola has now returned to work. ‘It’s amazing, as I feel ready and capable,' she said. 'It really feels like a fresh start, which I am incredibly grateful for. My mindset is: ‘It’s a great year to have a great year!’ 

Nicola can see the positives of her stroke in some ways. ‘Although I have had a stroke, I am very grateful for the opportunity it gave me to step off the hamster wheel of being a busy working mummy and take stock of what really matters. I know I never want to go back to ‘chasing my tail’. Running from home, to work, to school, to get homework done, while taking work calls and answering e-mails and then running out to the gym, etc.    

'My boys had to get used to mummy not being as involved in their lives anymore – that daddy took them to and from school, that daddy did their homework and bedtimes and took them to parties. That mummy needed to rest. Gradually, over time, I have been able to start to do a lot of these things with them again, which is great.'

Not only did Nicola get support from the Stroke Association’s counselling service, she also benefited from our Weekly Volunteer Calls service. Nicola said: 'It is a fabulous service. The amazing lady, Carolyn, who phoned me weekly for a number of weeks, was a lifeline. It was so wonderful to speak to someone who was well through recovery. Her lived experience and positivity and support made a huge difference to me. I felt less isolated and alone.'

Support Nicola and other stroke survivors

Nicola's story is one of hope and resilience. And this year, she will be celebrating Christmas on her own terms.

'I’m looking forward to a really chilled Christmas where we don’t have to be anywhere or be with anybody other than present in the moment,' said Nicola.

Give the gift of stroke support