When someone has a stroke, it can have a huge impact on everyone close to them. A stroke can affect the way someone behaves or they may have communication difficulties, so the person can seem different from the way they were before.
They may have less control over the small, everyday things many of us do without thinking, such as getting out of bed, taking a shower or phoning a friend.
It is common for someone who has had a stroke to feel quite low on returning home and to need a lot of encouragement and emotional support. All of this can be difficult to cope with.
Stroke doesn’t just impact the survivor, it affects the entire family.
Roisin, wife of stroke survivor
If you need to talk to someone who understands, you can chat with one of our trained volunteers, with lived experience of stroke.
Making sense of your feelings
Taking on caring responsibilities is a big commitment. It’s often something people do as part of a relationship, and they see it as a natural thing to do. But caring can be challenging and it takes time and energy. Carers tell us that they sometimes feel overwhelmed, exhausted or isolated and have experienced a “loss of identity or confidence”.
If someone close to you has a stroke, you may go through a range of emotions. Common feelings you might experience include:
- Confusion or a sense of loss: You might feel this due to the changes in the person and in your relationship with them. Although they are still the same person, they might have changed in some ways such as being more emotional or seeming less motivated to do things. Within a family, people’s roles and relationships might change. Time spent doing caring activities may reduce your time with other family members, or you may take on household tasks the person used to do. A stroke can also affect the intimate relationship between spouses or partners, including changes to your sex life. Many people have questions about sex after stroke and it’s not something to be embarrassed about. We have information on why stroke can affect sex and relationships as well as how you can get help.
- Fear or anxiety: You may also be feeling under pressure from things like finances, work and other caring responsibilities. Or you may have care needs or a health problem of your own and feel concerned about how you'll cope. Often, carers are also dealing with other life pressures, such as their own health needs and supporting other family members. Seeking some individual advice for yourself might make you feel more in control.
- Loneliness and isolation: Caring for a loved one or someone close to you who is unwell may mean you feel this way. These feelings can also arise if it’s difficult for you to get out and socialise.
As time goes on, your emotions can change. Some things will become easier to deal with and it can help to talk about it. We offer an Online Community forum and a tool to search for local support groups where you can find and chat with other unpaid carers. You can also contact Samaritans if you are struggling to cope.
Carers Trust Scotland have created a Wellbeing Toolkit for Unpaid Carers with more advice on dealing with difficult emotions and looking after your wellbeing.
If you have lost someone to a stroke, take a look at our information and support on bereavement and grieving.
Whether you need information or help, or to chat when times are tough, the Stroke Support Helpline is always just a phone call or email away.
Simply give us a call on: 0303 3033 100
Email: helpline@stroke.org.uk.